3 Signs you are trapped in the Nice Guy Syndrome
“You’re such a nice guy! I’m sure one day a sweet woman will cross your path that can see you in that way. But it’s not going to be me. But we can be friends?”
Have you ever heard a woman say this (or a variant on it) to you? I bet you have. I have. In my early days, all the time. It drove me nuts. What the hell was going on here?
I was a Nice Guy. I was sweet, thoughtful, gave them everything they asked me (and more), but somehow they just wanted to be friends. And not more than that. It sucked!
If you have, good chance you are suffering from the Nice Guy Syndrome, or NSG in short. What is NSG? NGS is a non-medical status. It is not causing immediate death, but it does cause long-term frustration, unhappiness, and a sexless life. It’s a mental state that man has fallen into and if no intervention will be done, they will risk suffering in depression, being cheated on, divorce, sexual frustration, and a dangerously high level of scarcity, of that one thing all straight men want in their life: sex with women and a real relationship where he is the man of the couple.
So yea, you don’t want that. NSG.
How do you know you are a Nice Guy? Well here are three things you will recognize if you are one. Below that, I have some tips on how to get rid of the NSG.
Trait 1: You have a lot of ‘female friends’. Note: that means, friends that are women, but not your ‘girlfriend’. They just love to spend time with you and tell you all their problems. Because you’re such a good listener.
Trait 2: The last time you had a girlfriend (if you had one before), it kinda just happened to you. She was pretty much the one that took the initiative to seduce you. You suddenly realized she was into you and wondered why the hell that was (and maybe still doesn’t know!)
Trait 3: You are here to serve others and you feel good about the fact you are a social and kind person. Others in no way use your goodness in their benefit alone (this is cynical), and you just love to give without anything in return. Because you think (erm no you know) that they will like you for it.
So, did you recognize yourself in these traits? Well, unfortunately, you are suffering from NSG then. But I’m sure you already knew that. But it’s good to now be open about it. So what to do next?
How do you get rid of NSG?
Simple. By becoming your true self.
Yea, right. I hear you think. That’s the crappiest advice I ever got! Even my mom told me that when I was a teenager. Just be yourself, and it will all work out fine.
I know. But that’s not what I said. You have to become your TRUE self. The one without the mask he’s wearing all day, so everyone will like you. Being a nice guy is a pretty selfish thing to do you know. It’s not being honest, to yourself or others. It’s not fair to yourself too. Because you are the most important person in your life. Without you, there would be no world for you to serve. So put yourself first so you can be social second.
And take off that mask of the person who you think the world around you wants to see. We’re not interested in someone else, we’re interested in you. The REAL you. The one with its beautiful skills, traits, logic, meaning, opinions. The one that is unique. Like we all are. With our flaws and our strengths. It’s who you are. And you are worth being around. Because we already have others. So a fresh view of someone unique as you is very welcome.
So let me know. What is the first thing you like to change RIGHT NOW?
Stay strong, be yourself!
About the Author
Maurice is founder of Seduction Debunked. He is Personality Coach and helps people to find their happiness again. One of the ways, is by teaching men the art of seduction. He does that through trainingprograms on Seduction Debunked and through personal coaching as dating coach. Want to know more wha that can do for you? Check out the menu above and contact Maurice directly.